"Cruel Camera" (or "How complete bollox becomes truth, provided there's sufficient authority behind the assertion")

Ah, me! The dangers of blindly following popular perception...

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXXI

I love Debbie Harry, and make no apologies for it! It's those eyes, again, isn't it? And this picture reminds me of somebody.

I heard somewhere that everybody was stoned, while this video was being shot:

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXX

The truly excellent Mario Kart: Double Dash...



Next time you're at the airport, you might try this...

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXIX

This has been copied by South Park, Peanuts, The Simpsons, Family Guy... I read somewhere that Joe Pesci started ad libbing, and the rest of the scene evolved from there. Whatever the truth of the matter, it's one of the most memorable scenes from recent cinema:



Unfortunately, the megalomaniacs at Warner apparently requested embedding to be disabled on all the other YouTube versions of this scene, and this one doesn't include Pesci's "funny story," as well as having all the expletives bleeped out, leaving precious little dialogue!

I'll tell you what: here's the transcript...

TOMMY: What's really funny was that fucking bank job in Secaucus. I'm in the weeds lying down.

He said, "What are you doing?" I said, "Resting." Here? In the weeds? I'm resting!

They pull me in, start asking questions. You know, this and that. "What are you going to tell us?" I said, "My usual. Nothing. Why tell you?" The fuck. He says, "No, you'll tell me something today." I said, "Okay, go fuck your mother."

You saw the paper. My head was out like this [indicates massive bruising]. I'm coming around and who do I see in front of me? This prick again. He says, "What do you want to tell me now?" I said, "What are you doing here? I said to go fuck your mother."

I thought he'd shit. The fuckers. I wish I was big just once.

HENRY: Funny. You're really funny.

TOMMY: What do you mean?

HENRY: It's funny, you know. It's a good story. You're a funny guy.

TOMMY: You mean the way I talk? What?

HENRY: It's just, you know. You're just funny. You know, the way you tell the story.

TOMMY: Funny how? What's funny about it?

ANTHONY: You got it all wrong.

TOMMY: He's a big boy. He knows what he said. Funny, how?

HENRY: Just, you know. You're funny.

TOMMY: Let me understand this. Maybe I'm a little fucked up. But I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse you? What do you mean, funny? How am I funny?

HENRY: You know, how you tell a story.

TOMMY: I don't know. You said it. You said I'm funny. How am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me what's funny.

HENRY: [Long pause while Henry assesses the situation] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy.

TOMMY: Motherfucker! I almost had him. You stuttering prick, you. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXIX

I wasn't sure whether I should attribute this to genius, or not, but hey, fuck it - it's my definition of genius that counts, and just because this is dance music and doesn't deal with some weighty world matter I don't think it should be excluded.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXVIII

Public Image Limited is touring, again...





I read recently that John Lydon's trademark stare is consequent to a childhood bout of spinal mengingitis.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXVII

I can't think of many more memorable opening sequences to a movie...



It seems that Channel 4 has blocked this - something to do with copyright, apparently. So, here's something else, until Channel 4 pulls this, too:

Are you not entertained?

My previous post reminded me of this scene. The video quality isn't so hot, but you get the idea:

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXVI

I can't make up my mind which of these is the funnier (and does one have to be British to find these funny?). First, the Peter Kay original:



And the version shot by the Royal Dragoon Guards on home video:

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXV

"For what is a brat, what has he got
When he wears hats and he cannot
Say the things he truly feels
But only the words, of one who kneels"

How very true.

Malcolm MacLaren, punk svengali and creator of the Sex Pistols, died last Thursday (8 April). From The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle...



Incidentally, the lyrics that are drowned out by the crowd's cheers are the opening lines:

"And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain,
You cunt, I'm not a queer,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain..."

and then, about half way through:

"There were times, I'm sure you knew,
When there was fuck, fuck, fuck all else to do,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I shot it up or kicked it out"

Finally, the last two lines:

"The record shows, I fucked a bloke,
And did it my way."

Addendum:
I was going to post the legendary Bill Grundy "Today" interview, but I think the wider point about the fruitlessness of censorship has already been made. In this case, "sexual swear words," like so many other things are not inherently or objectively bad - they're just triggers for negative associations, usually involving fear, and punishment. There's nothing real about any of it... the whole thing's a lie.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXIV

"Gotta do the thing with soul..."

The late, great Otis Redding:



One thing, though... Can anybody explain to me how it is that Tim Robbins is playing bass for the great man?

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXIII

"And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears..."

Yes, I know I've featured Paul Simon, before, but given the size and quality of the guy's catalogue, I can be forgiven, I think... Anyway, I couldn't find a YouTube video of "The Cool Cool River," which that quotation is taken from, but here's Marc Anthony and Simon, performing the beautiful "Bernadette" from Simon's musical "Songs from the Capeman".

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXII

I just love this:



From Gorillaz's 2005 album, Demon Days.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXI

Taken from The Verve's wonderful 1997 offering, Urban Hymns:



Ashcroft, of course, is quite famously depressive... It may be an urban legend, but I'd heard this song is about antidepressants, rather than being a lament against the use of Class A narcotics.

Addendum:
Urban Hymns is well worth taking another song from:

Haiti in "Pact with Satan" Shocker!

The thing is, he's so earnest about it... He honestly believes that Haiti's misfortune is an act of reprisal, on the part of God! Look, Pat, just because you'd engage in petty revenge, in the event that somebody started getting too cosy with somebody you didn't like, it doesn't mean that any supreme being would. So don't go projecting your shit. OK? Because if God behaved like you, we'd be fucked, and He'd be the only one left on the planet. Him, His slaves and a big pile of money, that is.

Anyway, enjoy:

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXX

Speaking of Reeves and Mortimer... Do you have to be British, in order to find this funny?..

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXIX

There's an urban legend about this song... I'll tell you about it, sometime (and if it's not true, it should be!). Anyway, this is taken from the album New Clear Days (geddit?), and remarkably, given the quality of this offering, The Vapors were one-hit wonders.

Merry Xmas, one and all - especially Herad...

...because she's just reminded me of this:



Addendum:
Incidentally - Feargal Sharkey - he couldn't possibly be more Irish if he dressed in a little green suit with gold buttons, wore a shamrock behind his ear and bred racehorses!

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXVIII (I think!)

This was originally a fill piece, to "advertise" the musical diversity available on the Beeb. I guess there was so much enthusiasm for it, that it was used for the 1997 Children in Need appeal. It's beautifully done, anyway, and the song is majestic.



Addendum:
I thought I should add the Lou Reed original. No swanky video - this was taken from the wonderful 1973 album, Transformer:

Bluebird by Edward Shearmur

I love K-PAX, which this is taken from. I challenge you to find anything other than peace in this. Anyway, this is especially for Anna, who found her own bluebird, just recently.