It's quite an experience

Siblings

2011-08-18T00:40:00.001Z

I've been here at my friend's place for a little over a week now and I'm starting to get a bit irritated. He and I are both fine… we game or we go out to eat, watch some shows/movies, maybe go for a walk, whatever. My brother, on the other hand, is impossible to please…

About four days into the trip, he said that he was feeling a little homesick. I asked what he was missing and he said "I don't know". He's 20 years old…

He will only eat the same things over and over again. He only eats once a day, too, so he never wants to go out when we do (which isn't often anyways), and he never wants to eat what we want to eat. He's basically been living on tuna helper, macaroni and cheese, and subs.

All he wants to do is play video games. Getting him out of his room here is almost as hard as getting him out of his room at home and everything has to revolve around him. He wants to watch his shows when he wants to watch them. He wants to play his games when he wants to play them. He wants to watch his YouTube clips when he wants to watch them. He has no concept of trying anything new or the world not revolving solely around him. He's happy as long as things are going his way but when people start doing their own thing, he begins to lose interest, withdraw, and mope.

He also can't seem to comprehend that he's in someone else's place… he needs to keep it clean. He doesn't take any initiative to bring soda cans out of his room or to rinse them out as my friend has requested. He doesn't throw trash out or anything. I have to tell him. It's like I'm babysitting him to some extent and it's getting on my nerves.

I also dislike the fact that the kid doesn't want to spend money… like at all. He's so far past "tight" that there's no word to describe his insane desire to hang onto his money. What he's holding onto it for is beyond me. He won't help pay for any of his games, he doesn't help buy food, doesn't buy clothes, nothing!

I know he can't help it…I know something is wrong with him and he was raised to be something of a spoiled brat…but I can only take so much before I start to get irritable around him. I think I've been doing pretty good, I've hardly snapped at him but I've realized that I could never, ever live with him…here or anywhere else.

Pointless

2011-06-21T14:57:00.003Z

I don't understand what we are supposed to do in life. I mean, I know I still have my whole life to figure it out, but everything seems kinda pointless right now...

All I know is that I'm gonna die one day and nothing I do is really gonna matter after that. When I look around everything seems fake, like somehow I don't belong. I'm just not really happy with not knowing anything to live for...

Would you buy a used car from one of these guys?..

2010-11-29T00:39:00.004Z

This is too funny:

America's offensive diplomacy

...there's no cause for alarm, the world's in the hands of people with the emotional and intellectual sophistication of an underfed rat. I wonder if any of them has ever had a conversation with anybody that's lasted more than three exchanges, because they all appear to deal in soundbites. And if hyperbole were a commodity, then the US would be even wealthier than it is, now.

If it were me, I wouldn't bother cutting the head off any snake, rotten, or otherwise: I'd stuff its tail in its jaws and allow it to eat itself.

God, that's quite tiring... how do they keep that shit up?

Saudi prince found guilty of murdering his servant

2010-10-20T01:09:00.004Z

Saudi prince found guilty of murdering his servant

Detective Chief Inspector John McFarlane said: "...This verdict clearly shows no one, regardless of their position, is above the law."

LOL. True, but not in the way that you mean, DCI McFarlane.

Addendum:
I've just reminded myself of that wonderful Anatoly France quotation, which goes something along the lines of:

The Law, in its majestic neutrality, treats all men as equal: all are forbidden from sleeping under bridges, stealing bread and begging in the streets

Amen.

Servant 'let Saudi prince kill him without fight'

2010-10-18T22:45:00.003Z

Perhaps this is evidence, from a psychological perspective, that one should never acknowledge another person as one's superior, on any level... Taken to its full logical extent, we now know where this approach to human interaction leads:

Servant 'let Saudi prince kill him without fight'

Besides which, how can one acknowledge as superior a bunch of wankers who have been inbreeding for generations? I mean, good Lord, they probably only have half a dozen functioning braincells, between them... Perhaps, like the Graeae, they lend them to one another, as they are needed.

Study highlights mental problems in US teens

2010-10-18T00:44:00.003Z

Well, I suppose if one goes looking for evidence of something, then one will find it:

Study highlights mental problems in US teens

However, the National Institutes of Mental Health ("NIMH"), and the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Sychiatry ("JAACAS"), are not renowned for their impartiality.

Anyway, I think we should quickly drug these kids, before somebody thinks of something more constructive... The system's failed: if I ever satisfy myself that you've been using mental health diagnoses as a tool of social control, I will visit your own tools on you.

Marr hits out at 'angry rantings of drunk bloggers'

2010-10-12T21:58:00.004Z

I don't care what you say... This is funny... Draft your own punchline!

Marr hits out at 'angry rantings of drunk bloggers'

This is also funny:

"...there are people who use blogs to discuss philosophical ideas, report niche news, point out factual errors in the media and much more," Mr Hundal said...

LOL. It's therapy, you twat: it's got fuck all to do with reporting news, replacing journalism [sic], error-checking, or "discussing philosophical ideas". One is able to clarify one's ideas, if one chooses, when one sets them down on paper and sees them for the shite that they are. A pity that Marr doesn't appreciate this. Oh, yeah, and Andrew: your bum smells of poo. And that's just about the level of intellectual sophistication that you deserve.

Incidentally, Marr described bloggers as

"socially inadequate, pimpled, single, slightly seedy, bald, cauliflower-nosed young men sitting in their mother's basements."

I make no comment on the first two labels. However, I'm sure I've read that Marr is gay, and thus single. He is going bald. I've no fucking idea what "cauliflower-nosed" means - any relationship to "cauliflower ears," which refers to the damage by boxers to the cartillage of said organ, owing to being punched, too much? And his mother's basement is no business but hers. He may well have been drunk when he made those comments. You're not seeing these qualities in bloggers because they're ones that you're all too familiar with are you, Andrew?

"Cruel Camera" (or "How complete bollox becomes truth, provided there's sufficient authority behind the assertion")

2010-10-05T22:00:00.003Z

Ah, me! The dangers of blindly following popular perception...

Rufus May: we must all learn how to care for one another

2010-10-03T23:06:00.004Z

I thought that this was funny:

Rufus May: we must all learn how to care for one another

After all, there's no shortage of little monkeys who take enormous pleasure in watching somebody experience psychological trauma (who congratulate themselves in the possibility that they may have installed that trauma, in fact). And there's no shortage of slightly bigger monkeys who refuse to permit others to have their own thoughts. Is there, now?

Face it: your system has failed, and you've forgotten how to be kind. Just as I have. One can't rise above the prevailing culture forever.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXXI

2010-09-30T23:55:00.006Z

I love Debbie Harry, and make no apologies for it! It's those eyes, again, isn't it? And this picture reminds me of somebody.

I heard somewhere that everybody was stoned, while this video was being shot:

Bad behaviour down to genes, not poor parenting, says study

2010-09-29T23:53:00.005Z

LOL.

Bad behaviour down to genes, not poor parenting, says study

Well, thank goodness we've got that sorted out. You see, we can proceed with this as our "truth," now, to the exclusion of all else. The trouble is, if it's not the truth, then the treatment we prescribe to treat ADHD will fail, and very quickly.

Now, you lazy fuckers: everything is learned, and if you explained stuff better, instead of punishing anything and everything you don't like, you might get further, faster. But you won't, because you're too fucking stupid - and you will indoctrinate your children with the same behaviours that you, and/or others, have shown them.

Addendum:
While I'm at it, I may as well point out why it is that one shouldn't tell a person that they have absolutely no control over their own behaviour. Or, for that matter, why one shouldn't tell others that a person will behave irrationally, irrespective of how one conducts oneself towards that person. It is this: it removes all responsibility from the individual to try other stuff.

In other words: this irrational, fictional person that we're talking about will always have a mind that goes everywhere, and can't concentrate, and is impossible to control, and they will never do what they're told, so they are aberrant, and it's not our fault - the best we can do is feed them some drugs, shunt them out of the way, and ignore them as best we can. Great system. Just make sure that you don't ever question whether or not your approach is wrong, and maybe these aberrants have a point, because it'll fuck your mind.

Fear of lifts: 'My fear was ruling my life'

2010-09-28T00:27:00.006Z

LOL. Not in my class.

Fear of lifts: 'My fear was ruling my life'

That's great, when people tell you what their fears are... A piece of piss, in fact. But most don't - most just offload their shit on others. And as for being hypnotized... Every communication is a form of hypnotism, you stupid cow.

Addendum:
Oh, and another thing: the author of that piece says somewhere that she became anxious at the mere thought of being in a confined space (the Tube, specificically, I think). As such, this business of going up and down in a real lift, was completely fucking superfluous. As for "tapping"... Fuck me - complete bollox. If one does it right, then the person forgets that they were ever afraid - they shouldn't have to remember to be not afraid.

The trouble is that people live with their fears for so long that they end up believing them to be real, and they believe the triggers for those fears are real, too - it never occurs to most people that any given act or word can have any number of different applications - good and bad. Fuck it: there's no profit for me in this.

UN prepares for 'first contact' with alien life

2010-09-27T02:07:00.004Z

I thought that this was quite funny. First off, we know that aliens only communicate with, and abduct, rednecks (I have no idea why this is, and motivation is one thing I've given up enquiring after). However, let's assume that those skinny, little, grey men with the almond eyes deign to talk to an officially-designated person...

UN prepares for 'first contact' with alien life

What could possibly be the civilized approach to greeting a life form so sophisticated that it's worked out how to travel at FLS? "Shoot," perhaps? That seems to be the civilized approach to every other problem, so why not this one? And, then, "we" could steal their technology, and make ourselves even more dangerous than we already are.

I think it's better that human beings never leave this planet, to be honest.

Is there a cure for Britain's most dangerous criminals?

2010-09-25T00:28:00.003Z

Hmmm. Nice idea: shame about the execution:

Is there a cure for Britain's most dangerous criminals?

"They may be mentally ill or they may not be, but have very disorganised ways of thinking. They may not have lost touch with reality but they may have talked themselves into an alternative reality. Like the Royal Marsden [the hospital in London which provides specialist cancer care], we deliver highly specialised long-term care to very disabled people at Broadmoor."

Ms Adshead, you have no right to tell another person that there is an objective reality, which you subscribe to, and to which they should subscribe; and that their reality is aberrant and wrong - and the fact that most people would not murder their family does not make them right. I would point out that in your reality your patients are defective, and wrong. You will never learn anything, if you take that approach, because you must remember that in their reality, you are also defective, and wrong.

GSK's Avandia banned in Europe on heart worries

2010-09-24T11:34:00.010Z

Now, I found this interesting for a whole bunch of different reasons...

GSK's Avandia banned in Europe on heart worries

First, it appears in the Indy's Business section, but not in the Health section... Second, this:

"I'm surprised the European agency has decided to remove the product from the market," said Savvas Neophytou, an analyst at Panmure Gordon. "I'm not entirely sure there is a massive difference in the response, although one sounds more draconian in that they're withdrawing the product. The restrictions imposed on the product used in the US are effectively the same.

"I expect this decision, although a lot of the impact of the Avandia franchise in the Glaxo investment thesis has been greatly reduced because of what has happened already over the last three years, could lead to some 3 per cent or so downgrades [on profits]."

My first reaction was "what a wanker Savvas Neophytou is"! And then I realized what he thinks is important in the world, and his reaction becomes understandable. "Glaxo investment thesis..." What a crock!

Anyway, let's cut to the chase, shall we? We've got a company that now has a track record of hiding adverse event data. Data, in both the cases of Seroxat and Avandia, that is potentially life-threatening, when withheld (OK, it's harder to prove in the case of Seroxat, but not for those who've experienced the acknowledged side effects). That's the current understood position, I think. There is no argument. And is anybody scrutinizing GSK's other products, to see if they've been pulling the same shit, elsewhere? Well, not as far as I know.

So, GSK produces shit products that are dangerous. Regularly. It hides the data. Regularly. It intimidates those who rumble its activities. Regularly.

And then nothing happens. If the system were true to its declared philosophy, GSK would be a distant memory. Which tells me all I need to know about the system (ie, the system is more accurately described by Savvas Neophytou).

Addendum:
"I expect this decision, although a lot of the impact of the Avandia franchise in the Glaxo investment thesis has been greatly reduced because of what has happened already over the last three years, could lead to some 3 per cent or so downgrades [on profits]."

Now, have another read of that... That is quite a strange use of parentheses... Is it just bad grammar? Re-phrase:

I expect this decision could lead to some 3 per cent or so downgrades [on profits], although a lot of the impact of the Avandia franchise in the Glaxo investment thesis has been greatly reduced because of what has happened already over the last three years.

Dunno, probably just bad grammar - I don't know Neophytou's phraeseology well enough to know whether he deleted something, before saying it, for example. My best guess is that he's given the interview face-to-face, and it's been recorded and reproduced, word-for-word.

So, he's started to have a thought suggesting that GSK will suffer a 3% reduction in profits, and quickly countered that by pointing out that Avandia's significance has been scaled down steadily over the past three years, (possibly in anticipation of a ban(?)), before completing the thought concerning the downturn in profits. In other words, his mind worked faster than his mouth, and he provided a counterproposition to the negative view, even before he'd expressed the negative view in words.

From the desk of Salam Umaru

2010-09-23T14:13:00.002Z

Goodness me! What a lot of wan..., er, bankers there are!

Mr Umaru contacted me from... Yep! Burkina Faso! Mr Umaru is an auditor at a bank, which tells me a great deal about Mr Umaru's view of how an auditor should conduct himself (in my experience, he's right).

As with the previous two Lagos Scam emails I've published details of, there's a sizeable amount of cash that's been sitting in Umaru's bank for some time, courtesy of the wholesale death of the beneficiary's family. Mind you, there was an added detail, this time: they died in a plane crash. Risky business, this foreign investment, isn't it?

What a load of fucking bollox. One would have to be truly the most corrupt person in the world to fall for this shite!

How the CIA ran a secret army of 3,000 assassins

2010-09-22T23:56:00.003Z

I thought this was funny:

How the CIA ran a secret army of 3,000 assassins

The cunts couldn't run a bath. Besides which, a person who operates under somebody else's control has no autonomy, and no capacity for independent thought, no matter what they might think to the contrary. If these 3,000 genuinely are assassins (originally Nizari Ismailis), then they are incapable of doing anything else - so when they run out of Taliban, you'd better watch your fucking arses.

Remember OBL? The CIA used to think he was all right, when he was fighting the Soviets. No fucking clue whatever, these people. On the other hand, the CIA can spend the next couple of centuries trying to track down these 3,000 and their descendents, having declared them terrorists.

It's not clever, you know: striking convenient deals with people who are already motivated to do murder, and then denouncing them, once their usefulness has ended. And as a parting shot, I'd point out that the Nizari thought of selective murder first, so you cunts aren't even original. Difference was, they used it in preference to widespread bloodshed, I understand.

Annual global cost of dementia 'more than 1% of GDP'

2010-09-21T22:47:00.002Z

Should have talked to the poor fuckers while they were still sentient, shouldn't you? It's a lot more difficult to put this sort of thing right than it is to stop it happening, in the first place.

Annual global cost of dementia 'more than 1% of GDP'

Mind you, if my experience is anything to go by, most people can barely hold a conversation of more than 3 exchanges without shitting themselves, anyway.

Teenager locked up over harassment of man who died

2010-09-20T22:48:00.004Z

It's a shame that they didn't realize the old man was more intelligent than they were...

Teenager locked up over harassment of man who died

That's why he didn't know how to deal with them. The trouble is: nobody ever forgets anything. Did you know that? No? Well, that's because you've never taken the time to notice.

The old guy made the mistake of thinking that if he was kind enough to these little cunts, they'd be kind to him. He'd noticed the pattern. Unfortunately for him, some people are too far gone to realize that kindness should be reciprocated.

And, now, I'm as stupid as you - and I despise you for it.

Compliments of the day from Mr Garuba Lawal

2010-09-18T14:29:00.003Z

A business news update from Burkina Faso. I have been contacted by Mr Garuba Lawal, who is a banker in Burkina Faso. Now, my contact with Burkina Faso is extremely limited, but I cannot help but wonder if there are anything other than bank workers in this impoverished country? And if there is nobody but bankers, then what does that tell us about poverty and the banking industry?

Anyway, back to Mr Lawal, who has USD25mm, which he wants to transfer to my account, he says. As with Mr Tampy (see posts, passim), the legal beneficiary of these funds was a foreign national, who died 13 years ago, with his next of kin. Obviously, I'm massively intelligent and can see these patterns, but for those who can't, I'd just like to point out that prudence requires that if one is a foreign national investing in Burkina Faso, then one should steel oneself to the possibility of dying with all of one's family, based on the limited sample of evidence available to me.

So, there you go... If one is a bit strapped for cash, just be aware that there is corruption aplenty in West Africa, and there's free money to be made.

Scientists identify brain's region for introspection

2010-09-16T23:42:00.004Z

I thought this was quite funny ("...Funny how? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny?.." etc):

Scientists identify brain's region for introspection

It wasn't so much that some kind of phenomena or other has been identified, which might, upon closer examination, mean something. No, it was this, from Dr Steve Fleming, of University College London:

"Take the example of two patients with mental illness, one who is aware of their illness, and one who is not. The first person is likely to take their medication, the second less likely," he said.

So, a person is mentally ill, whatever that means. And they become aware that they're mentally ill. This indicates that their capacity for introspection is advanced, apparently. Now, a second person is mentally ill, whatever that means. But they are not aware (refuse to accept?), that their thoughts and behaviour are those of a mentally ill person. This second person's introspective capabilities are less advanced. Well, I'm glad that that's cleared up!

So, this fabulous "discovery" is of no fucking use, whatever, unless we are in a position whereby we may improve a person's introspective capabilities, such that they can see the world in exactly the same way we do, and perceive that they are, indeed, as mentally ill as we tell them they are. Whereupon they can start taking their medication. On the other hand, if they start seeing the world in the same way we do, then either they've become sane, or else we have to join them on the psychiatrist's couch.

I think my capacity for introspection has been severely diminished by all the bullshit I've been fed, because I can't for the life of me see where my thoughts have gone wrong, here. After all, if I was thinking straight, I'd perceive that this discovery was actually worthwhile, so I must have gone wrong, somewhere.

Revenge of the nerds: Should we listen to futurists or are they leading us towards ‘nerdocalypse’?

2010-09-12T01:18:00.010Z

I've a confession to make: I nearly found this amusing ("I amuse you? I make you laugh?.." etc). And then I realized that the world is being conducted by, and for the benefit of, people such as the founder of PayPal. There may be other, altogether more interesting things than "the singularity" happening (and if the singularity happens, it will only happen for a small number of people - the ones who sponsored it), but they will never be looked at, for whatever reason.

Revenge of the nerds: Should we listen to futurists or are they leading us towards ‘nerdocalypse’?

Anyway, if you really want a philosophical discussion about what human evolution and AI is likely to look like, then it will have happened long before you realize it. Also, the idea of controlling AI strikes me as bizarre, but I can't quite put my finger on why, yet. Are we able to create something that can teach itself, or learn at an accelerated rate (and is that what we mean by AI, anyway?)? Would we even allow ourselves to create something that was more intelligent than us; and if we did create something more intelligent, would we acknowledge its existence, or would we just stifle it, for fear of what it would achieve, and would we not be terrified of being left behind? And if we create something that's ten times more intelligent (definition, please), than us, should we really assume that it's going to adopt the same model that we have (those who are in charge at the moment had better hope not).

I don't know: put 100 geeks in a room, and all one gets is self-aggrandizing bullshit - the world does not revolve around a couple of hundred moneyed individuals, you pricks. Evolution is about adapting to the shit one is faced with. The idea that one avoids the shit, by design, is the very antithesis of evolution, but it is the model that the founder of PayPal (for example), is following. And what happens when a piece of shit finds its way into one's perfect world? Ummm: the aroma!

Addendum:
I think I know why these monkeys want a super-human intelligence: it's so that they can feed it shit information, and have it construct solutions to the shitty problems that their own behaviour has created. In short, you want something superior to you that you can treat as a slave. Well, I hope it bites you on the arse, you lazy, duplicitous fuckers.

Daily vitamin pill could reduce dementia's effects by up to 50 per cent

2010-09-11T00:52:00.003Z

I thought this was vaguely interesting...

Daily vitamin pill could reduce dementia's effects by up to 50 per cent

So, we have these (let's face it, mostly elderly), patients, who've probably been ignored for years, owing to their perceived condition. Then, they start receiving regular daily visitations, when the vitamins are administered. Perhaps the person administering the vitamins shares a few words, who knows? And then, every so often, a "scientist" comes along to ask some questions, to see if the vitamins have made any difference. And, fuck me, they have. At least, that's one interpretation of the results.

Another interpretation might be that the regular mental stimulation afforded by the daily visits and occasional interviews had a therapeutic effect. Nothing causes a person's mind to work like actually using that mind, I've noticed. Still, I'm not a scientist, and consequently I know absolutely nothing about anything. Thank God. On the other hand, I know everything there is to know about nothing, which is a great deal - you'd be surprised. And you can be sure that I'll be passing that knowledge on.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXX

2010-09-07T21:43:00.003Z

The truly excellent Mario Kart: Double Dash...

Next time you're at the airport, you might try this...

Dave is Dead: Long Live Trevor

2010-09-07T09:33:00.002Z

My Rover 25 iXL Auto that I bought back in April got rear-ended, when I was on holiday, down in Cornwall. What with Rover now defunct, the parts are astronomical, and the insurers designated it as "beyond economic repair," and lobbed me a cheque. So, I had to spend another n hours sourcing another vehicle (where n is a relatively large number, represented thus: 20 < n < 100). Given that I only had a courtesy car for a limited period of time, it was a pain in the arse.

Anyway, the upshot is Trevor, a 2003 red Citroen Xsara Forte with 45k on the odo. Dave is dead: long live Trevor.

Matt

US woman Sonya Thomas devours 181 chicken wings in Buffalo contest

2010-09-06T21:53:00.004Z

Now, this is what I call news! I don't want hard-hitting, investigative journalism... I want people eating unfeasibly large amounts of poultry, in an equally unfeasibly short period of time:

US woman Sonya Thomas devours 181 chicken wings in Buffalo contest

I just love the idea of professional eaters, too. I wonder what the governing body's called?

God didn't create universe, says Hawking

2010-09-02T09:02:00.006Z

I guess there's a God vs. Physics argument, going on somewhere that I didn't know (or care), about...

God didn't create universe, says Hawking

And I still don't care! But this amused me (LOL - I just imagined Stephen Hawking reprising Tommy's words, in Goodfellas: "...I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse you?.."):

"If we discover a complete theory, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason - for then we should know the mind of God."

Fuck off, you cunt! You don't even know the minds of your fellow humans! If, and it's a big if, God exists, and (S)He/It is a supreme being, then you will never catch up with it, unless God's mind is in stasis, and it won't be, because nothing is.

Of course, Hawking's apparently moved on from this idea to one where God doesn't exist, at all, such that knowing God's mind becomes an impossibility, because one cannot know something that doesn't exist. All the same: what a cunt!

Addendum:
Do you know what really pisses me off about this? Of course you don't, because I haven't told you, yet. It's that a person such as Hawking gets kissed on the very same arse that he's talking out of... He's discussing a theory that can no more be proved than the existence of God - he's exchanging one set of unproveable beliefs for another. Am I the only one who sees the fucking irony of that?

And another thing: if "A Brief History of Time" (being the only one of his tedious writings that I've troubled myself with), is anything to go by, he's unbelievably limited in the concepts that he can entertain, simultaneously, or else combine to create a single concept, or else assimilate into his existing belief system. You want to play around in the Universe of Ideas, motherfucker? Then learn the basics.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXIX

2010-08-30T01:30:00.011Z

This has been copied by South Park, Peanuts, The Simpsons, Family Guy... I read somewhere that Joe Pesci started ad libbing, and the rest of the scene evolved from there. Whatever the truth of the matter, it's one of the most memorable scenes from recent cinema:

Unfortunately, the megalomaniacs at Warner apparently requested embedding to be disabled on all the other YouTube versions of this scene, and this one doesn't include Pesci's "funny story," as well as having all the expletives bleeped out, leaving precious little dialogue!

I'll tell you what: here's the transcript...

TOMMY: What's really funny was that fucking bank job in Secaucus. I'm in the weeds lying down.

He said, "What are you doing?" I said, "Resting." Here? In the weeds? I'm resting!

They pull me in, start asking questions. You know, this and that. "What are you going to tell us?" I said, "My usual. Nothing. Why tell you?" The fuck. He says, "No, you'll tell me something today." I said, "Okay, go fuck your mother."

You saw the paper. My head was out like this [indicates massive bruising]. I'm coming around and who do I see in front of me? This prick again. He says, "What do you want to tell me now?" I said, "What are you doing here? I said to go fuck your mother."

I thought he'd shit. The fuckers. I wish I was big just once.

HENRY: Funny. You're really funny.

TOMMY: What do you mean?

HENRY: It's funny, you know. It's a good story. You're a funny guy.

TOMMY: You mean the way I talk? What?

HENRY: It's just, you know. You're just funny. You know, the way you tell the story.

TOMMY: Funny how? What's funny about it?

ANTHONY: You got it all wrong.

TOMMY: He's a big boy. He knows what he said. Funny, how?

HENRY: Just, you know. You're funny.

TOMMY: Let me understand this. Maybe I'm a little fucked up. But I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse you? What do you mean, funny? How am I funny?

HENRY: You know, how you tell a story.

TOMMY: I don't know. You said it. You said I'm funny. How am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me what's funny.

HENRY: [Long pause while Henry assesses the situation] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy.

TOMMY: Motherfucker! I almost had him. You stuttering prick, you. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

Secret services 'must be made more transparent'

2010-08-29T00:54:00.007Z

I thought this was funny:

Secret services 'must be made more transparent'

I found the bit about "...The more open the Government is, the harder it is for extremist groups to make stories out of silence" particularly amusing, given the rabid stonewalling that the Department of Health and its agencies have subjected people to over the Seroxat farce, and others.

I was also amused by the idea of Government personnel "infiltrating" web forums for the purpose of clarifying how wrong the conspiracy theorists are! Stupid cunts! If only they were able to acknowledge that, given the limited information available, almost any bizarre story may be concocted.

It is impossible to lie effectively. It is impossible to control information. And it is effectively impossible to hide the evidence of one's lies - not having a smoking gun is irrelevant if one is able to compare the story to the outcome, and identify a discrepancy. The problem for government is that when a person believes that they have spotted a flaw in its reasoning it tends not to respond (or if it does respond, it dismisses the perceived flaw as a conspiracy theory!), and no amount of thinktanks can resolve that.

WikiLeaks builds a legal shield in Sweden

2010-08-27T13:24:00.004Z

Now, I find this even more fascinating than Mr Tampy's magnificent business offer!..

WikiLeaks builds a legal shield in Sweden

So, Wikileaks has identified that it is perceived as a threat to something or other. "Intelligence" services have declared that Wikileaks is a threat to somebody-or-other's "national interests," whatever they might be. So Wikileaks seeks to build a legal wall around itself, just in case the powers that be attempt to attack it through "legitimate" means - this involves establishing itself in a country with strong legal protections.

Now, the Pentagon (for example), has unlimited resources - both in terms of legal expertise and cash. Wikileaks hasn't. Ergo, the Pentagon could embroil Wikileaks in a protracted legal battle, involving any number of allegations, not for the purpose of securing a legal decision, or precedent (although that would be a subsidiary benefit, if achieved, because it would discourage others from following Wikileaks' example), but for the purpose of breaking Wikileaks financially, long before the decision was ever reached. This is called "bargaining in the shadow of the Law".

Alternatively, the Pentagon could approach Wikileaks' service providers, on the quiet, and "arrange" for the services to be withdrawn. This assumes that the Pentagon believes that the Law is an inconvenient myth, of course.

Mind you, what the Pentagon perhaps hasn't considered is that Wikileaks is the least of its problems. After all, the Pentagon doesn't actually exist (from where I'm positioned, anyway), and if it doesn't exist, then it will be able to do nothing, and nobody will be able to take its interests into account, when making their decisions.

Compliments of the day from Mr Paduwa Tampy

2010-08-27T12:48:00.002Z

Mr Tampy is a banking official in Burkina Faso (West Africa). He needs a foreign account, in order to transfer USD25mm, which has lain unclaimed in Mr Tampy's bank for thirteen years, since the owner of said funds died with his next of kin, conveniently enough.

Naturally, I was delighted to hear from Mr Tampy, this morning, and look forward to joining him in this successful business venture! Makes a fucking change from getting emails from "Olumuyiwa Obasanjo of BP, Nigeria," anyway!

Assange says 'enemies' to blame for rape claim

2010-08-23T00:46:00.002Z

Who does one believe, when one has so little information?

Assange says 'enemies' to blame for rape claim

I suppose that all depends upon where one's interests lie... Would the Pentagon (for example), go to these lengths? Well, if the CIA can undertake MK-ULTRA, then certainly. And then, what do we know about Assange - is our experience of him such that we believe him incapable of this type of thing?

Do you know what? I'll bet you do.

Ketamine 'acts like magic' to lift depression, study says

2010-08-21T00:11:00.005Z

Ah, yes: what could possibly be better than shooting ourselves up with horse tranquilizers, moonlighting as narcotics?

Ketamine 'acts like magic' to lift depression, study says

And not that I'm skeptical, or anything, but how does anybody know that neuroconnections are made/restored by this drug? There are billions of neuroconnections on a piece of grey matter the size of a pinhead. Do we have microscopes that powerful, now? And are we able to see inside a person's head while they're still alive, in order to watch this process taking place?

Word up: randomly creating connections in a scattergun approach is a recipe for disaster. There is no fucking magic, and one cannot create a facsimile of something that doesn't exist. Small wonder, then, that it appears that this is nothing other than a suppression device, with relief of depressive symptoms lasting a week.

In their element: The science of science

2010-08-16T00:53:00.003Z

I imagine that it gets harder to discover new stuff if one is restricted to only looking in areas that are likely to make money. And if one needs billions of dollars to make a discovery, then one is looking in the wrong place, I think.

In their element: The science of science

Speaking of "positing questions," here's one for you: why are "the little people" not able to challenge the status quo, if the status quo doesn't work for them? I think we all know the answer to that, don't we?

Man in US sprouts pea plant in his lung

2010-08-12T23:55:00.003Z

I've heard several different versions of the urban legend, whereby a seed takes root in somebody's stomach. Such a thing is impossible, given the speed at which food is digested, not to mention the small matter of stomach acid. However...

Man in US sprouts pea plant in his lung

Is that fucking weird, or what?

Rogue preachers use 'witch' scares to abuse children

2010-07-25T22:39:00.004Z

Now, here's a story that intrigues and appalls me, in equal measure. What does a witch do? I mean, one has these preachers denouncing people as witches... how do they (the preachers), know that they are witches? How would anyone know that they were a witch?

Rogue preachers use 'witch' scares to abuse children

OK, so these guys are seemingly making shit up, in order to get sex and serve whatever other impulses that they might have, but presumably the belief that witches exist is founded on something? I'll tell you a story. I was walking with my daughter, not far from where I used to live, in Romford. A couple of kids were playing outside their gate, and my daughter stopped to join in. I forget what it was that they were talking about, maybe something to do with spiders, but I said something completely off-the-cuff that I don't even remember precisely, whereupon the kids' mother, who had just walked outside to see what they were up to, clasped her hands to her head and ran back inside, shrieking to her husband something along the lines of "he's doing it, as well".

Now, this woman was not a first generation black woman, just arrived from some West African country, where juju is the mainstay of people's belief system. She was white, and British. Something I said triggered her. Something her kids talk about triggers her. I wonder if the possibility ever occurred to her that I just stumbled on her trigger, rather than reading her mind or otherwise coming by information that she'd rather keep secret. Do people believe that children are witches because they say whatever comes into their heads, and occasionally trigger stuff that people would rather forget? Do people have fear triggered, and become angry at their children, because they can? Do they punish their children for inadvertently stumbling across their triggers? Do they censor and silence their children, without ever explaining why?

Anyway, that's enough speculation. There are no witches, but there are a lot of very frightened people. How did that happen? And why isn't there an equivalent number of brave people?

Open to abuse: Did being molested as a baby make Rebecca Moran an easier target for sex offenders later in life?

2010-07-25T10:22:00.003Z

Hmmm. I don't want to court controversy on this subject, because I know that the idea that people who have been abused are going to suffer a lifetime of psychological trauma is a truism to the vast majority of people (small though that number might be), who spend the time to think about the subject. It's a "truth" so true that, much like the Earth orbiting the Sun, it doesn't even need to be stated. Except it's not true. A thing is scary when it is out of the ordinary; when one cannot see the purpose; and when one perceives from the surrounding circumstances that one is being given no choice, despite one's misgivings.

Open to abuse: Did being molested as a baby make Rebecca Moran an easier target for sex offenders later in life?

However... If one perceives a person who has been abused as a victim, then one will treat them like a victim, and they will become a victim, because they've been given no other choice. It's the simplest form of indoctrination. My advice to anybody who has been abused is this: perceive yourself to be a victim, if you like, but remember that it is your choice, and the people who have to see you as a victim in order to have somebody to punish (your abuser), are no better than your abuser, because they're perpetuating the abuse, long after it has ceased, and they are no more able to change their behaviour than your abuser was.

Oh, if you need an alternative to being a victim, then I suggest that you don't go for "survivor," either. Start a blog, and call yourself a blogger. Start jogging, and call yourself a runner. The choice is yours - just be wary of those who need you to be a victim.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXIX

2010-07-22T22:47:00.002Z

I wasn't sure whether I should attribute this to genius, or not, but hey, fuck it - it's my definition of genius that counts, and just because this is dance music and doesn't deal with some weighty world matter I don't think it should be excluded.

Dream academy: Secrets of the subconscious unlocked

2010-07-18T00:14:00.004Z

LOL... Scroll to the bottom of this piece:

Dream academy: Secrets of the subconscious unlocked

...complete bollox! There are no objective meanings - a dream means precisely what the dreamer believes it to mean (until such time as they place a different interpretation on it).

For example: nudity - this means that one doesn't have any clothes on. The very idea that it's a metaphor for something else just doesn't wash, with me. And even if it was a metaphor, then the whole point of a metaphor is that it means what the individual decides it means - it certainly doesn't have a single, discernible meaning; even if that meaning is generic, in nature.

I mean, don't get me wrong: I love the idea that the unconscious mind (assuming that such a thing exists), untroubled by constant external input, puts together elaborate messages on the offchance that one might remember them consciously when one wakes up, before spending the rest of one's life deconstructing/decoding them! But if one's own unconscious mind had something valuable to say, then wouldn't it just say it - rather than engage in some tedious game of Chinese Whispers? Because it's mimicing society, at large? No, that's too fanciful, isn't it?

Wanted by the CIA: The man who keeps no secrets

2010-07-17T23:40:00.003Z

Now, I found this quite interesting (which is to say that it distracted me for three minutes, and I regard that as noteworthy):

Wanted by the CIA: The man who keeps no secrets

Personally, I don't think Assange's answers are evasive - they're extraordinarily precise, in fact, given the lack of precision in the questions put. Also, Assange is defending a position (his right to publish classified material), and he's unlikely to invalidate that position.

But speak like a robot? No, hardly. Nobody speaks like a robot (not least because unless AI has been developed, the words that any robot speaks will be the words of its human programmers). And in any case, I don't think any robot would care enough about mankind's antics to bother commenting. It wouldn't even have a concept of caring.

However: secrecy (nobody talks about it much, do they? Arf, arf)... I don't like secrecy - it permits the creation of false realities (I suspect that secrecy is widely used for precisely this reason), when people have enough difficulty identifying what's going on when others are being transparent with the facts as they understand them.

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXVIII

2010-07-17T00:23:00.003Z

Public Image Limited is touring, again...

I read recently that John Lydon's trademark stare is consequent to a childhood bout of spinal mengingitis.

'Wicked' woman jailed over false rape claim

2010-07-15T11:35:00.004Z

Irresponsible? Wicked? Immature? Interesting... Why is it that people descend into the pejorative and hyperbole, when the facts will speak for themselves?

'Wicked' woman jailed over false rape claim

Let's see... Why did this woman choose a fabricated sexual assault, as a means of getting back at her friends? Do you suppose that that was the thing that she feared most from being left to find her own way home (a real assault, I mean, not a fabricated one), and that was why her mind was drawn to it?

Who knows? And, frankly, who cares? But, now, at least, this woman will be able to spend the rest of her life, knowing that she's irresponsible, wicked and immature, because nobody's ever going to countermand those labels, are they? You guys... your system has failed - something goes wrong, and you have to find somebody to punish!.. Why don't you just put things right, occasionally?

Living with psychosis: 'I'm mad, but not bad'

2010-07-12T23:40:00.005Z

Personally, I think the "sane" (ie, those who will only repeat what they've been told by officially-sanctioned authorities is "real," irrespective of whether they believe it, much less understand it), are fucking boring. I'd much rather talk to a "nutter," but then I have a rather more flexible view of what is "normal," largely due, I think, to so many people with widely differing views all claiming that what they believed was real. They can't all be right, can they? Or can they?

Living with psychosis: 'I'm mad, but not bad'

Interesting, in this case, that the subject of this piece is determined that her medication is the thing that permits her a "normal" existence - she mentions it several times. I wonder why she doesn't try to take some of the credit, herself...

Botox approved for the prevention of chronic migraine

2010-07-10T12:33:00.005Z

This'll make you laugh. It did me, anyway:

Botox approved for the prevention of chronic migraine

I was listening to BBC Radio 4, and an item came on the news. I checked the date several times, and having satisfied myself that it wasn't 1 April, I thought I'd poke some fun!

Regrettably, it's not mentioned in the piece cited, above, but in the radio "news" piece, it was said that a trial was carried out based upon "anecdotal" reports by those using Botox for the purpose of losing all expression in their facial muscles also experiencing a reduction in migraines. Now, it was my understanding that the MHRA didn't give a shit about anecdotal evidence, but apparently on the back of these reports, a trial was arranged. And the drug was approved for this secondary purpose.

I look forward to the MHRA deciding that anecdotal evidence of withdrawal problems, suicidality, akathasia, etc, etc, is worth a trial. But, then, it's not the MHRA that carries out the trials, is it? It's (mostly), the companies. The distinction between this case and SSRI adverse events is that there is no money to be made from proving that SSRI are placebos with lots of side effects. Is there?

Addendum:
Is there a direct correlation between the desire to have an expressionless face, and suffering from migraines? Put another way, do people who wish to look like Commander Data suffer migraines at a greater rate of incidence than the wider population?

The Apollo hoax theories

2010-07-09T23:16:00.002Z

The Apollo hoax theories

LOL. Who gives a shit? Allow me to re-phrase: does-it-really-fucking-matter?

The science of lying: Why the truth really can hurt

2010-07-05T00:07:00.003Z

LOL. I don't find it at all difficult to uncover lies - they're self-evident, most of the time.

The science of lying: Why the truth really can hurt

But the creation of false realities, alluded to in the last couple of paras... Networks of lies that assume the status of truth through repetition... One has to have a good memory, photographic in fact, to be a liar, and I've yet to meet anybody who has been bothered to develop their faculties to that extent.

Germany 4 - Argentina 0

2010-07-03T17:33:00.002Z

LOL... Go, Krauts, go!

I have to say that I'm feeling decidedly more cheerful about England's ignominious exit from the tournament, last weekend. The much-vaunted Argetinians were roundly trounced, just as England had been. Messi, Tevez and Higuain barely got a kick, much as Rooney had been noticeable by the absence of his contribution, six days earlier.

I have to say that the Germans look like a proper team, and good luck to them against either Spain or Paraguay (most likely Spain, let's face it), in the semis.

Karate Island #7

2010-07-01T12:14:00.003Z

Last night was tough... It was the last Wednesday of the month, which means sparring. We did points, and we did continuous, and my arms were like lead weights by the end of it. "I know I'm unfit, but this is bollox," I thought.

However, I think I've identified (part of), the problem. Yes, I'm unfit, but I think the last time I had a cold (3/4 weeks ago), it went down to my lungs, and I've got an infection (I'm coughing up phlegm that's a vivid shade of yellow, anyway!). When I was running regularly, I noticed that an infection would have a similar effect (ie, I became fatigued very quickly and seemingly massive effort yielded very little in the way of performance), so it's off to the quack, on Tuesday, to get some anti-biotics.

As a follow-up, I'm going to start doing some sprint work, in order to beef up my hams, quads, pecs, biceps and triceps. Ten or twelve 200m reps, twice a week, ought to do it. It'll also improve my stamina - I'm quite pleased with my recovery time, but I run out of gas very quickly, and that isn't just a matter of the infection, I think.

Journey into the unknown: Simulating a trip to Mars

2010-06-28T22:10:00.002Z

I'm sure there's something profoundly inspiring about this (going to Mars, I mean, not being locked up in single-storey council house with decor circa the 1970s), but I can't think what it is...

Journey into the unknown: Simulating a trip to Mars

The question that keeps pressing itself upon my consciousness is "why?". "Because we can"? No, there must be more to it than that, and the ability to do something is generally a poor justification for actually doing it. "Because we think there's a possibility of finding some valuable commodity, or other, there"? That's more like it. "Because we want to add to mankind's fund of knowledge of the universe"? I don't think so, and in any case, mankind's obsession with facts and knowledge has caused it enough problems, already.

Nope, sorry, you've got me there: I neither know nor care why those men are putting on bright blue boiler suits.

Germany 4 - England 1

2010-06-27T21:55:00.003Z

Shit. Complete and utter, clueless shit. Completely outclassed in every department...

I'd just like to remind everybody of Alan Hansen's prophetic words, when he declared of Manchester United that "you'll never win anything with kids," at some point during the 1995/96 domestic season, when David Beckham, Paul Scholes and the rest burst on the scene. Well, I hope the Germans win the tournament with their young side. If nothing else, England will look marginally less shit, by comparison.

I've been watching England for more than 30 years, now. And it still hurts when it turns out that we're nowhere near the required standard.

Teen-repellent buzzing devices ruled disciminatory

2010-06-25T23:11:00.006Z

This is probably quite funny, in a kind of half-hearted, apologetic, unintentional way:

Teen-repellent buzzing devices ruled disciminatory

I just love the idea of local authorities and mall owners, etc, pursuing gangs of young people down the street with comically massive aerosol cans full of teen repellent. "Take that, you hoody-wearing, expensive mobile phone-carrying bastards - I'll teach you to gather in comparatively large numbers in a potentially threatening and unsupervised manner," the security companies' representatives would gloat. And rightly so - if teaching them anything was their objective, of course.

Well, it tickled me briefly, anyway...

Addendum:
Just notice that the Parliamentary Assembly didn't criticize the use of these devices... They "slammed" them, according to the piece. Has the Indy turned into a Red Top, when I wasn't looking? Whatever next? "Phew, Wot a Scorcha," the next time the mercury hits 25 degrees? How standards have fallen.

Disgruntled of Peterborough

Slovenia 0 - England 1

2010-06-23T18:36:00.002Z

Yeah, baby, yeah! We are England - we invented Association Football (and Rugby and Cricket and every other game worth playing). We have a population of nearly sixty million and we managed to find eleven who could beat Slovenia, the location of which is a complete mystery to me, which has a population of three million. And we beat them (increasingly nervously, from my perspective), by one goal to nil.

We're fucking ace, we're fucking ace. We're going to win the Cup. Fuck everybody else - we're ace.

Oh, and the US somehow managed to fumble their way to the top of the Group, in order to qualify for the knock-out stages. England deliberately allowed this, because we wanted to meet Argentina in the Quarter Finals, rather than the Final, for some reason that I'll think up, later.

Top US general's career on the line after suprise attack on Obama

2010-06-23T00:08:00.004Z

This is funny:

Top US general's career on the line after suprise attack on Obama

But I'm not quite sure why! Perhaps it's the idea that the people trying to put into practice the shit ideas of those in charge are expected to keep quiet about the shitness of the ideas they're being required to implement! Anyway, O'Bama must be a pretty insecure guy if he's sufficiently embarassed by McChrystal's remarks, such that he (O'Bama), fires him.

If it were me, I'd just fire off a quick email, copying Rolling Stone, saying "Dear Stanley, I think you're a cunt, too."

Matt

Addendum:
Oh, well, predictable, I suppose: McChrystal got fired. Funny, though: Baeraech O'Bama, the man in charge of the biggest military that the world's ever seen, thinks that extreme violence is normal human behaviour... What could possibly, possibly go wrong?

Let's face it: it's not the perfect crime!

2010-06-21T22:06:00.005Z

'Goldilocks' burglar pleads guilty

And yet, it's a good crime, in the sense that it's been done with a sense of (albeit unintentional), style that's so sadly lacking in crime, today!

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXVII

2010-06-21T12:42:00.004Z

I can't think of many more memorable opening sequences to a movie...

It seems that Channel 4 has blocked this - something to do with copyright, apparently. So, here's something else, until Channel 4 pulls this, too:

Do you know what I like most about Father's Day?

2010-06-20T23:24:00.003Z

Chocolate.

I've just troffed my way through 6 ozs of chocolate brazils. Anonymous trolls should in no way feel obliged to become nauseus, at this news. Especially if they have nut allergies.

Are you not entertained?

2010-06-20T10:30:00.003Z

My previous post reminded me of this scene. The video quality isn't so hot, but you get the idea:

World opinion condemns the US for a 'savage' execution

2010-06-19T23:12:00.003Z

I was just reading this:

World opinion condemns the US for a 'savage' execution

I don't think I have an opinion on it, to be honest. I disagree with the death penalty for a whole bunch of reasons that aren't worth voicing, because nobody's listening.

However, it was the comments by readers that really caught my eye. Apparently, people who do murder and other violent crimes are "evil" and death is the only solution. Be careful what you wish for, motherfuckers.

One of those embarassing little moments that seem to litter my life...

2010-06-18T23:57:00.003Z

It's Father's Day, on Sunday. My daughter's primary school invites parents to join the kids for lunch on Mother's and Father's Day. So, having spent the morning with this and that, I turned up at 12:00 and signed the vistors' book.

I was queueing with my daughter in an orderly fashion (we english know no other way to queue, incidentally!), when the Headmaster chanced along. There were several Dads there, and he hallooed us as a group, thankfully... I just couldn't think of anything polite to say to the guy (he let my son down very badly over some psychological bullying), so I had no choice but to imagine that he wasn't there, until he wasn't.

Fuck it - I'm not going to pretend that everything's OK, when it isn't, and I'm not going to set aside the guy's abject failure. I don't think people in positions of authority should be encouraged to validate bullying, even if they find it convenient to turn a blind eye.

England 0 - Algeria 0

2010-06-18T23:14:00.000Z

Yep... It was as tedious as the title suggests.

Karate Island #6

2010-06-16T21:50:00.002Z

I have to say, this was one of the most punishing sessions, thus far... I ran out of gas really early. Funny, really: in other ways I tried not to over-extend myself, but we did quite a bit of sparring without guards (gloves only), and my arms were just like lead weights, come the end of the session.

On the other hand, I know that I held nothing in reserve, which will mean that my stamina has improved.

Phobias...

2010-06-13T23:47:00.002Z

I know that "irrational fears" (they're anything but irrational, but let's not get into that), are no laughing matter for those who experience them, but this one made me chuckle:

Angrophobia - Fear of becoming angry

Can you imagine? I mean to say, getting angry is one of the most obvious and, dare I say, natural (clearly I do dare say), reactions to stimuli. I would argue that it's one of the first reactions that most people make resort to. But, somewhere along the way, someone (society in general, I think, which seems to view anger as indicative of something aberrant), has installed a trigger that leads one to be fearful of venting one's feelings in an overtly angry way...

Jesus! How fucked up!

Oil spill disaster: The guilty parties

2010-06-13T23:17:00.007Z

I was just reading this:

Oil spill disaster: The guilty parties

What a cluster fuck!

I don't have a pension, and I'm pleased to say that it would be a matter of supreme indifference to me if BP were to go tits uppermost. Thank God Dodgy Dave's got his priorities right, though... I don't imagine there's a civil service pension fund that has BP stock...

paints4u.com

2010-06-10T11:11:00.006Z

It seems a bit weird giving a shout to a company, on here, but I was actually genuinely impressed by these guys, especially as Halfords hadn't managed to identify my paint colour from the manufacturer's code!

Anyway, I had a little stone chip on the front passenger door, which had been allowed to go unchecked for several months before I bought Dave, and the surrounding paint had bubbled. I rubbed it down and the metal underneath was pitted, so I daubed some Hammerite on it, to stop the rust. And then I went to Halfords...

A frustrated weekend later, I input the Rover code into Google, and found these guys. I bought a touch-up kit from them (primer, colour, lacquer and rubbing compound (polish)), and got to work. I made a fundamental mistake, mind you... Having masked off the area, I should have removed the tape and newspaper as soon as I'd put the lacquer "wet coat" on, in order to let it "spread". But I left it to dry, and then removed the tape, and as a consequence, the paint is the thickness of the masking tape, and looks like a patch!

Fuck it! I can't be an expert in everything, can I? All the same, the colour match is perfect, and the job serviceable. Besides which, it's at the bottom of the door so doesn't really notice, and I'm not going to spend £500+ getting a paint shop to respray the whole door, when Dave only cost me £2,500.

Anyway, if you need to get touch up paint, my recommendation is paints4u - it's cheaper than Halfords (£24 for the kit I bought), and the aftersales is good, too.

Fucking hell - that looks like an advert!

Karate Island #5

2010-06-09T23:03:00.003Z

We did some more sparring, tonight, and I emerged relatively unscathed, apart from cramp in my hams, that is. Leastways, I've come to the conclusion that it's only cramp - I did think that I'd pulled something, because it was so uncomfortable, but it eased off after a long, hot soak.

I felt a bit outclassed, to be honest - I was the only ungraded adult - and although I know a bunch of techniques, now, I'm not seeing the opportunities to attack/counterattack. Mind you, even if I could see them, my fitness is such that I don't have the explosive energy to exploit them, just now!

Onwards and upwards... I'm going to work on stretching my hams. I've never been able to do the splits, either, so I think I might aim for that.

Inger-land!..

2010-06-08T20:36:00.003Z

Rustenberg, Cape Town, Port Elizabeth... Just three days, now.

I don't know why, but football has this capacity to enthrall me - probably because of the infinite variety and the speed of the game. It's over thirty years since I saw my first World Cup Finals, in Argentina (which England hadn't qualified for (Scotland did, but why they bothered making the trip, nobody knows to this day)), and I'm still able to feel that sense of expectation. Assuming we (LOL - because I'll be playing, obviously!), win Group C, we're due to meet France at the Quarter Final Stage, Brazil in the Semis and Spain in the Final.

Hmmm. Still, hope springs eternal, and even with Rio injured, we've got the players to achieve something. In fact, this squad is possibly the best we've had since, well, Germany four years ago, except this time we've got Capello at the helm.

I have my inflatable "We Believe" TV chair, with a pattern on it like a football. I have a couple of boxes of Stella standing by to do service for Queen and country (OK, so Stella's Belgian, but WTF, eh?). And I have a quite implausible degree of optimism. What could possibly go wrong?

Bring on the Yanks!

I see the Thought Police are out in force, again...

2010-06-06T16:31:00.003Z

I thought this was quite funny. If Erlinder wants to deny the existence of something, then so, what? I tell you what: there was no genocide in Rwanda, a claim I can make confidently, because I have no evidence that it ever happened, outside of third party reports. Now, if only I could afford the airfare to Rwanda...

US professor charged with genocide denial

People say violent things, all the time. And some of them say these things without even realizing they're violent, because in the circles that they move, such things are "normal". But it doesn't matter if one uses honeyed words - they don't justify anything, if the outcome is "wrong".

And didn't the CIA have the opportunity to block Hutu propoganda, but declined?

Thought for the day...

2010-06-06T00:18:00.000Z

Is "infantry" the opposite of "adultery"?

Anti-fear drug 'could help wipe painful memories'

2010-06-04T00:52:00.004Z

This is outrageous, it really is. Some pharmaceutical giant will no doubt make fabulous sums of money from this...

Anti-fear drug 'could help wipe painful memories'

It's tediously simple - we're talking 5-minute simple - to allow somebody to perceive a traumatic event differently, with their agreement, and the idea that some quack remedy is going to generate wealth on the back of others' trauma makes me want to vomit. No drug can be specific enough in its application to do this. It can't, because memories are too complex - and the suggestion that it can won't be enough to make it true.

And as for the idea that we give people anti-fear drugs while they're experiencing trauma... Well, that's not open to abuse, is it?.. Reminds me of the storyline to Jacob's Ladder.

Karate Island #4

2010-06-03T14:05:00.004Z

I've missed the past couple of weeks, owing in part to injury and, last week, because the gearbox went on Dave (my car). One of the drums went, anyway. Not to worry - that's what warranties are for!

Anyway, I don't know if my fitness has improved markedly (unlikely), but I found last night's warm-up a bit easier than previously, and we had a good session. I did end up with a massive swelling on the back of my right hand, owing to either the reverse punches or the jabs I'd been throwing.

And I got the honourary black belt for my efforts! This is something that Sempai gives to somebody or other who's caught the eye, either for sheer bloody-minded effort (I think I'd fall into that category), or else they've performed a technique in especially proficient style. I have to give the belt back, next week, though.

I've been to the Moon, you know...

2010-05-23T08:11:00.005Z

I've mentioned this story to several people in comments that I've left around the blogosphere. I find it extraordinarily poignant, for a whole bunch of reasons. Anyway...

I was on a (NLP), course in a hotel, one time. There was a break in proceedings, and I headed out of the lecture room for a snout (cigarette). I ran into an old confused-looking guy in the lobby. I say old - he was probably in his sixties. I can't remember why we started talking, to be honest, but I remember how he spoke: slowly but clearly, and his ideas appeared disjointed as though there were lots of things that he wasn't including in his dialogue, but then he said something quite extraordinary that I doubt I'll ever forget. "I've been to the Moon, you know," he declaimed.

Now, I know that most people would regard this as evidence of delusion, or something, and would make damn sure that they exited the conversation as quickly as possible, on the ground that they might be infected by the guy's supposed insanity. However, I see the world differently to most people. I think this guy was an authentic genius.

Now, I don't know whether he had been to the Moon (incidentally, I think that it seems unlikely, but that doesn't make it impossible), and I don't know whether he believed he had been to the Moon, irrespective of whether he had, or not, and I don't know whether he merely consciously imagined that he'd been to the Moon, and that that was a sufficiently "real" experience for him to make the claim as though he'd physically been there. That's not the point. The very fact that he was still able to formulate such an idea, at his age, when most people have forbidden themselves that level of whimsy (if that's what it was)... That's the point. You see, most people are living the lives that they permit themselves, after all the things that they've been told are impossible have been deleted. There's not a whole lot left, you'll note.

I told him the only thing that made any sense, in the circumstances. "I believe you."

Karate Island #3

2010-05-20T09:35:00.000Z

I really enjoyed last night's session... It involved me driving to the dojo, paying mine and Lovely's subs and insurance, and then sitting on the sidelines while everybody else sweated their bollox off!

My ribs are still hurting, and my movement's restricted, as a consequence. That's my excuse, anyway.

Gary McKinnon: 'They can't return me to a place I wasn't in'

2010-05-16T23:15:00.005Z

[Derisive snort] The US authorities are too fucking stupid to get anything out of this guy:

Gary McKinnon: 'They can't return me to a place I wasn't in'

He's already out-thought them once - do they think that that was a fluke?

Addendum:
Of course they don't, but they're going to ignore the fact of their inconsistent approach to this type of "offence" and drive on towards their desired goal, even though that goal is a house built on sand. What is their motivation? Well, frankly, who cares - it'll be something tedious? Most likely, a desire to seek retribution in return for the humiliation of being successfully hacked by somebody that most would consider mentally aberrant, and who had the audacity to leave a message warning them of their vulnerability. Fucking halfwits - you have no authority; it was the first thing you abandoned.

Something rather odd just occurred to me...

2010-05-13T21:37:00.003Z

I like getting comments on here, especially from people who are new to "Matt's World of the Strange and Defiantly Leftfield". Even the trolls - they liven things up, after all, even if the realities that they present to me are so superficial that they run out of things to say, almost instantly.

The only thing is, I'm aware that most of the people who comment on here are, how should I put this? A little bit tender? I'm also aware that people rarely say outright the thing that it is that they want to talk about. And more than that, I'm aware that people, particularly those tender people I spoke of, are apt to interpret very nearly everything as a rebuff, principally because that is how they are used to being received.

And so, if they comment, and I say the "wrong" thing, they go back into their shells, and an opportunity is lost. I did think that I could mind read, at one time. And then I realized I was just following the pattern of people's speech. I was quite disappointed, to be honest! And now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go and practise legilimency!

Karate Island #2

2010-05-12T21:07:00.004Z

Ouch! We did some sparring, today... I did, anyway - Lovely worked on some techniques and skills.

Sensei said that he was well-impressed with my movement, and my jab. However, we were doing some tag bouts, and I came up against a Brown Belt, and I just couldn't work his pattern out. Or rather, I worked his pattern out, but didn't have anything to counter him with. I took several kicks to the ribs, and if I can breathe properly tomorrow, then I shall be pleased!

Ouch!

A Hoy

2010-05-08T14:08:00.003Z

In my official capacity as Co-Founder(!), I'm making an occasional award to Sairs, at This Lunatic Express

The Rules (which, as is the way with these things, may be flouted!):
1. Pick five blogs that you consider deserve this award based upon any criteria - for example, the quality of the commentary, wit, humour, artwork, overall design, value to you of the information being provided, and so on.

2. The awarding blogger should choose at least two blogs not on his or her own blogroll, the purpose being to encourage variety of reading matter, and to have the person making the award think about what they like to see and read.

3. Your five choices must be published in a dedicated post on your own blog. This post must contain the name of the author (which may be their logon name), and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone. This post should contain brief details of what attracted you to the blog. Details may also be posted in the comments section of "What is a Hoy?"

4. In the same dedicated post, each winner has to show the award and acknowledge the blog that has given him or her the award.

5. Both those awarding and receiving A Hoy must show the link to A Hoy blog, so that everyone will know the origin of this award.

6. When publishing details of the blogs to which you have made your awards, these rules must be published for recipients to follow.

Karate Island...

2010-05-06T00:26:00.004Z

My daughter and I joined a dojo, today. Well, I suppose officially we join in three weeks' time, when the introductory period ends, but to all intents and purposes...

I feel rather less impressive than Spongebob looks, to be honest - I'd forgotten how out of shape I was. After warming up, we did a minute of quickfire roundhouse kicks, and I feel like I need hip replacements, right now. The rest of the session passed in a haze.

To add insult to injury, all the kids (at least half the contingent), my daughter included, looked like they could have done another couple of hours! It was good, though: a good atmosphere.

A Walke to the Villaidge Shoppe

2010-05-04T22:19:00.005Z

I had a couple of things to post, this morning. A piece of paperwork to go to DVLA, in Swansea, which managed to get my address wrong (it's probably an offence to fail to notify of same), and a package to Wolverhampton Uni.

The village shop closed for a while. The previous owners decided to throw in the towel when the Post Office decided that the shop's "sub-Post Office" status was to be withdrawn, and the branch would close, which would mean a significant fall in revenue for the owners. However, presumably on the basis that the Post Office counter could be reopened, but with "Outreach" status (I think that's the right term), the premises was sold and the new owners began operating postal services, just before Christmas, last year. However, under Outreach, the Post Office does not appoint a sub-Post Master, and there is no accompanying salary to offset additional labour costs.

Anyway, I strolled across the village green, or what's left of it. The estate on which I live is about ten years old, now, and was partially built on the green. There's still a fair bit left, though - perhaps two football pitches' worth - and I can see most of it from my study window. I walked past a little stand of dogwoods, which have been allowed to run to seed. A couple of months ago, I pruned the two that are immediately visible from the study - one bud from the ground - and with a bit of luck, next winter, I'll be able to enjoy them as they should appear: straight, bright red stems. Dependent upon how my efforts turn out, I might do the rest, next February.

I made my way onto the main street through the village, and noticed that the daffodils that line the frontage of the alms house have all gone over. There's no sign yet of any grape hyacinths, although the ornamental cherries are all in full bloom, now, which is pretty impressive.

I tossed the DVLA thing in the postbox outside and went into the shop. A woman was just finishing at the Post Office counter. I plonked my package on the scales. "First Class, Recorded, please," I said.

What a fabulously exciting life I lead!

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXVI

2010-05-02T22:50:00.004Z

I can't make up my mind which of these is the funnier (and does one have to be British to find these funny?). First, the Peter Kay original:

And the version shot by the Royal Dragoon Guards on home video:

Passionate Blogger II

2010-05-02T14:45:00.009Z

Ana gave me this and, as mentioned previously, I've been a bit tardy about paying it on...

Anyway, here are my five awardees:

1. Sairs, at This Lunatic Express
2. Jessie, at Synecdoche
3. Petal, at Don't Let Her Eat Cake
4. Nicole, at Among the Garbage and the Flowers; and
5. maryhadalittlelamb, at Dancing Through the Void

Congratulations to all.

The usual rules apply:
1. Stick the above graphic on your sidebar;
2. write a post celebrating the occasion, which should acknowledge the giver;
3. pick at least five blogs you think deserve a gong and include them in the post referred to in 2., above;
4. tell your awardees that you've given them the award.

Teacher cleared of attempting to murder pupil

2010-04-29T21:49:00.002Z

Good Lord! Common sense prevails! I wonder if those kids understand, now? Probably not.

Teacher cleared of attempting to murder pupil

Three Beautiful Things

2010-04-28T23:15:00.002Z

Inspired by one of the blogs in my list for the Inspirational Blogger, I thought I'd see what sprang to mind, based on what happened today...

1. There's a carpet of dandelions on the village green; eye-burning yellow.
2. My children's smiles.
3. The goldfinches that are nesting in one of the neighbouring gardens, but come to a feeder in ours.

Inspirational Blogger Award II

2010-04-28T21:26:00.003Z

Stephany gave this to me, erm... some time ago...

I thought it was about time I paid some of my awards on, so I'll have a go at that, over the next couple of weeks. These are my five nominees for Inspirational Blogger, which is the longest overdue, in terms of paying on:

1. Jazz, at Jazz in Pieces
2. Aqua, at Vicarious Therapy
3. Clare, at Three Beautiful Things
4. Bigassbelle, at Big Ass Belle
5. Rodger Dodger, at Rodger Dodger

I wish I could tell you why I picked these... They just struck a chord, I guess - I'll let you know which one, if I ever work it out!

Anyway, congratulations. I think the usual rules apply...

1. Stick the above graphic on your sidebar;
2. write a post celebrating the occasion;
3. pick at least five blogs you think deserve a gong and include them in the post referred to in 2., above;
4. tell your awardees that you've given them the award; and
5. er, that's it, I think.

Teacher attack boy 'was leading light behind trouble'

2010-04-28T00:13:00.005Z

I found this hilarious, for a variety of reasons, none of which I'm going to disclose.

Provocation, of course, is only a defence to murder. And even then, it's only a partial defence (ie, if accepted, it reduces the charge to one of manslaughter, which is significant, because murder carries a mandatory life sentence, whereas sentencing for manslaughter is discretionary).

Teacher attack boy 'was leading light behind trouble'

Does what the kids did look clever, or admirable? Did it have a purpose outside the somewhat trivial objective of humiliating authority figures? Was the teacher's response proportionate, given the effect that the kids' behaviour had on him? Did the school understand the psychological impact that the behaviour of these kids had on its teachers? Did the school do anything about it? Was it capable of responding, even supposing any of the teachers were able to acknowledge that they couldn't handle their classes, and sought help?

So many questions. None of which are likely to be answered.

Addendum:
My personal analysis is that, based on what is in the piece cited, none of these kids had assessed what it was that they didn't like about this teacher (if, indeed, they disliked anything), such that they would humiliate him. Even supposing they had made some kind of assessment, none of them were brave enough to front it out, one-on-one - they sought safety in numbers. The question of whether their motivation for humiliating their teacher was valid simply doesn't come into play.

I think that they perceived he was vulnerable, and then they proceeded to make that true, by their conduct, and they kept going, until they found something that "worked" (ie, Mr Harvey reacted in a way that they found amusing). They did this, because they perceived that Mr Harvey could do nothing about it, I think. And they were right, weren't they? How wonderful it is, when we can prove our points, in this way.

On second thoughts, I think even this is too complicated. The kids did what they did, because they thought it was appropriate, in all the circumstances. In other words, it was their pattern. And Mr Harvey, he reacted to the stimuli he was subjected to in the way that he did, because that was the only thing that he could think of - and can one honestly say that one would not have done the same thing? Liars. I would have, except I'd have done a better job of it.

I feel ashamed, tearful Pope tells victims of clerical abuse

2010-04-18T23:09:00.003Z

Shall I be an arsehole, and point out that it's easy enough to apologize for others? Should I also point out that it's also relatively easy to express sorrow for people's sufferings, without acknowledging one's own contribution to that suffering? Yes, fuck it, why not?

I feel ashamed, tearful Pope tells victims of clerical abuse

But to be fair, it's a start. Perhaps the Church will perceive that it's easier to say sorry, straightaway, rather than wait until somebody's got one's arm twisted up one's back...

Spanking children can lead to aggressive behavior: study

2010-04-18T22:21:00.009Z

Speaking as somebody who had the shite beaten out of him routinely as a child, provided his mother was in a bad enough mood and could fix on something that could be deemed punishable (breathing, being born, not being a supernatural being who could cure her of her insanity, and so on), I found this quite funny.

Spanking children can lead to aggressive behavior: study

I'm wasting my time, aren't I? You fucking monkeys know nothing. What's worse: for a whole series of reasons, you daren't admit it.

Anyway, scan to the last para of the piece linked above. Do you note anything about the non-violent alternatives that are suggested? Yep, that's right: they're all punishments. The human mind in microcosm... Small wonder that, when you see a dispute, your immediate reaction is to take a side (usually the one you perceive to be strongest), and exact some retribution. You've never learnt to do anything else, have you? And you never think to question the methodology you've been shown, even when it clearly doesn't work.

Oh, one final word: passive aggression (including ostracization), whereby one withholds stuff, and otherwise communicates in tiny increments that a person has done something that is considered "wrong" without ever explaining it (even to oneself), is as traumatic psychologically as any beating. Don't kid yourselves: you're supposed to be reliable in a world that is complex in its insanity. Leaving a child guessing as to when you may be calm and helpful and when you may turn into a raving, violent freak is going to cause problems. You know why you're afraid (sorry, angry), but it will not be evident to them.

Addendum:
My world has been defined negatively, for me. That is, I have had to assess, by trial and error, what it is I am permitted to do by looking at what's left over, when I've been punished for the stuff that I may not do. That's why I read Law - I'm going to do anything and everything not expressly forbidden by Law, and the rest of you can go and fuck yourselves.

A gold-plated scandal hits the bonus bank

2010-04-18T00:41:00.003Z

I thought this was quite funny, in an "oh, dear: please don't tell me that we've made the assumption that because these guys have got lots of money that they're in any way decent, or honest, or representative of any kind of admirable human characteristic" -sort of a way...

A gold-plated scandal hits the bonus bank

Anyway, time (and the quality of legal advocates involved), will determine whether or not GS is as crooked as it looks, right now.

Vatican lifts veil of secrecy on abuse cases

2010-04-11T23:33:00.006Z

I wonder if Benedict is going to be meeting with those abused by priests that he was involved in protecting? Will those whom he will meet be handpicked - people who are so relieved to be acknowledged, after all this time, and blinded by the "holiness" that is the Pope that they'll be thoroughly satisfied, irrespective of what he says and then does subsequently?

Vatican lifts veil of secrecy on abuse cases

Or is this genuine contrition, on the part of the Church? Has the penny finally dropped? We shall see.

Addendum (18 April, 2010):
I read, a couple of days ago, that Benedict is making a visit to devoutly Catholic Malta (the last country in Europe where one may not divorce, apparently), which has its fair share of abuse cases, I understand. Having intimated that he'd meet with those who have laid claims of abuse, it now seems that his whistlestop tour can't accommodate such a meeting...

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXV

2010-04-11T00:45:00.009Z

"For what is a brat, what has he got
When he wears hats and he cannot
Say the things he truly feels
But only the words, of one who kneels"

How very true.

Malcolm MacLaren, punk svengali and creator of the Sex Pistols, died last Thursday (8 April). From The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle...

Incidentally, the lyrics that are drowned out by the crowd's cheers are the opening lines:

"And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain,
You cunt, I'm not a queer,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain..."

and then, about half way through:

"There were times, I'm sure you knew,
When there was fuck, fuck, fuck all else to do,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I shot it up or kicked it out"

Finally, the last two lines:

"The record shows, I fucked a bloke,
And did it my way."

Addendum:
I was going to post the legendary Bill Grundy "Today" interview, but I think the wider point about the fruitlessness of censorship has already been made. In this case, "sexual swear words," like so many other things are not inherently or objectively bad - they're just triggers for negative associations, usually involving fear, and punishment. There's nothing real about any of it... the whole thing's a lie.

Charges are concocted to keep me behind bars, says Khodorkovsky

2010-04-07T00:49:00.010Z

I have a personal interest in this case...

Charges are concocted to keep me behind bars, says Khodorkovsky

Yukos Oil was one of several interests owned by GM Investment ("GMI"), a subsidiary of the Menatep Group, largely owned (directly or indirectly), by Khodorkovsky and Platon Lebedev, also named in the piece, above. Meanwhile, Alexei Pichugin, the former head of Yukos' security, has been convicted of several murders.

On the face of it, not people (I use the term, erm, wrongly), to fuck around with, if one is a mere mortal. However, Vladimir Putin is no mere mortal. According to Khodorkovsky, Putin pursued criminal charges of embezzlement against both Khodorkovsky and Lebedev, Yukos was effectively bankrupted by claims of unpaid tax by the Russian authorities, and eventually passed into state hands.

Khodorkovsky claims that all this was done because he was supporting opposition parties, and Putin was seeking to cement his hold on power. Well, Dobby, as Putin is also known (although he's reportedly rather touchy about it), appears to be the sort of megalomaniac who would do that, but that's just my view, from a distance.

Hmmm. A plague on both your houses.

GMI approached my former employer, shortly before Lebedev was arrested back in, what, 2003, shortly after Khodorkovsky had been arrested and while Pichugin was being investigated on at least two counts of murder? They wanted to squirrel some money away (or so I interpreted it), and investing in hedge funds was the way to go, as far as they were concerned. So, this guy called Francois Buclez, who used to be some kind of big cheese at CSFB, if my memory serves me, started negotiations with my employer, which shall remain nameless (Albourne Partners Limited, Battersea Park, London), and eventually contracted through an offshore entity called Cube Fund Advisory Limited...

NCIS was never advised of GMI's approach, as far as I'm aware. My employer looked the other way. Albourne's Managing Director, Simon Ruddick, told me to shut the fuck up (I'm paraphrasing). How very human.

May the road rise up to meet you, Mr Khodorkovsky.

Williams forced to recant criticism of Irish Catholics

2010-04-05T00:33:00.006Z

I had to chortle... Why did he apologize? Your guess is as good as mine.

Williams forced to recant criticism of Irish Catholics

OK, if you don't like that, how about "the Catholic Church in Ireland/USA/Australia/New Zealand/Latin America* has lost all credibility with those people who were abused by Catholic priests, sought recourse via the church hierarchy and were silenced, and then had to endure the betrayal of a cover-up, which probably added to their psychological trauma."

* delete as appropriate

That all right with you? The time for temperate language and gentle diplomacy is long past, you fucking monkeys.

May the road rise to meet you, or something...

2010-04-04T22:56:00.002Z

Go n-éirí an bóthar leat
Go raibh an ghaoth go brách ag do chúl
Go lonraí an ghrian go te ar d'aghaidh
Go dtite an bháisteach go mín ar do pháirceanna
Agus go mbuailimid le chéile arís,
Go gcoinní Dia i mbos A láimhe thú

This is a delightful piece of poetry, I think, although the translation appears to have been, erm, romanticized, judging by the arguments about it, on internet fora! For instance, there's nothing about "rising" or "meeting" in the first line. Apparently, it means, literally, "may the road succeed with you," more appropriately translated as "may you have a successful journey," but I think that's nitpicking...

Genius: there's no other word for it - Part XXXXXIV

2010-04-04T00:56:00.003Z

"Gotta do the thing with soul..."

The late, great Otis Redding:

One thing, though... Can anybody explain to me how it is that Tim Robbins is playing bass for the great man?

Family 'the key to Megrahi's survival'

2010-04-01T10:52:00.003Z

Dr Swire's a very wise man, I think. Unable to reconcile al-Megrahi's conviction with the inconsistencies he perceived in the case, he chose to assume Megrahi's innocence. Besides which, hating Megrahi won't bring his daughter back:

Family 'the key to Megrahi's survival'

I'm reminded of the reaction of the FBI Director, when Megrahi was released. Between him and Dr Swire, I know who I believe to be the better human being. Anyway, Mr FBI Director, now you know how I feel about Pinochet's release. As I wrote at the time: you can't have it both ways.

CIA given details of British Muslim students

2010-04-01T10:43:00.003Z

Too, too funny: not a fucking clue.

CIA given details of British Muslim students

You're not on another one of your random fishing expeditions, where you suspect everybody, so that you can be sure you include those who are genuinely planning something violent? Dear, oh dear.

Just be sure you understand who it is you're protecting, and from what. And then look at yourselves.

Blair targets 'vacuous' Cameron on his return to campaign trail

2010-03-31T00:06:00.005Z

Hmmmm. I must confess, I was unsure as to what "vacuous" meant. Here are a couple of definitions, which I think give a flavour (courtesy Webster's online dictionary):

1 : emptied of or lacking content
2 : marked by lack of ideas or intelligence : stupid, inane

Blair targets 'vacuous' Cameron on his return to campaign trail

Do yourself a favour, Mr Blah: don't go there, because you're not bright enough to call anybody (or anybody's ideas), stupid, not even Dodgy Dave.

And by the way, Blah, could you have Texture "spell out" when he's next going to "spell out" his policies, because I must have missed the last occasion he "spelt out" his policies - perhaps they were too complex for me to understand, or perhaps he's shit at spelling. Who knows?

British astronaut helps launch UK space agency

2010-03-23T23:53:00.004Z

I had to laugh:

British astronaut helps launch UK space agency

I think I'll rig up my Sky dish, in order to beam a message to the rest of the Universe: "run: the monkeys are coming!"

Incidentally, did you know that there's actually an officially-appointed alien liaison officer (I can't remember where I read that; so I can't tell you who it is)? I thank God I wore my corset...

The fucking monkeys can't even communicate with one another - how are they going to talk to a representative of some far-off civilization that's so advanced that it's developed FLS travel? Hilarious. Also, if the aliens are anything like me, then they'll perceive language in patterns (I've had no choice, given all the BS I've been fed, down the years), and they'll find human language very aggressive - it's the way humans think, so they can't hide it. Not for long, anyway. And that's another thing - lying's not logical (it creates false realities), and I can't help but think that an advanced civilization would have acknowledged that, which will make humanity, with all its lies and deceit, look positively deranged.

Run, ET, run like the fucking wind!

Mixed response to Pope apology

2010-03-20T16:23:00.002Z

Hmmmm. Not surprising, really. What appears to be about to happen is that the clergy responsible for the abuse are going to be wheeled out to face their accusers, these many years later. If this is the plan, then the hypocrisy of the policy is there for all to see - the Church hierarchy have known what was going on, for a long time, and they appear to be behaving as though, provided they don't ever admit publicly that they knew, they can proceed as if they didn't (know).

Mixed response to Pope apology

And the letter is not for the abused; it is for those who have not been abused, or had loved ones abused and cannot perceive that they would have been subject to the same level of betrayal. In other words, the abused, who are angry and want reparation, are dispensable - it is not them to whom the Pope is speaking. The Pope is engaging a damage limitation exercize - desperately seeking to hold on to his waning control over his "flock" by assuring them that there will be some punishment meted out to the evildoers.

Were that he could apply his high-powered sense of "justice" to himself. But that's monkeys, for you... Something bad has happened, so somebody must be punished. Paedophiles are widely reviled, and there will be least objection to the punishment being done to them, when, as has been clearly stated by the abused in this tawdry tale, those who engaged in cover-up are equally culpable, if not moreso, because they were in a position to make things right, at the very outset.

Pope tries to stem tide of sex abuse allegations

2010-03-20T00:13:00.003Z

This tickled me, once I'd got over that sense of sad inevitability that seems to accompany me whenever I read of a massive institution, which has lost control of one of its secrets, and is trying to claw the position back...

Pope tries to stem tide of sex abuse allegations

"The Italian daily Corriere della Sera quoted Vatican officials as saying the letter, to be read at Sunday Mass, "will contain not only religious considerations" but also "precise practical indications" on how the officials will "detect and cure this sore, removing it from the Church"."

The problem, then, as quoted by the CdS, is not with the systematic suppression of evidence and the silencing of those abused, but with the abusers, as though it has come as a revelation to the Church's hierarchy that the widespread rape of children has been carried on by its own people. For decades (or more).

Wake up, motherfuckers: it's the cover-up that's going to haunt you to your miserable graves. Because you know what? You've got hundreds, if not thousands, of victims who are going to pursue you for the rest of your naturals. I'd face the fucking music, now, if I were you - the anticipation's always worse than the reality, after all. Put another way: there's nothing to fear, but fear itself.

Ramat Shlomo: Inside the town that will test Obama to the limit

2010-03-18T23:40:00.007Z

As Edmund Blackadder once said: "I thank God that I wore my corset, for I fear my sides have split".

Ramat Shlomo: Inside the town that will test Obama to the limit

And, do you know, what? God must have been grateful that somebody was talking to Him, at last, because He said "listen mate, don't waste your fucking time: I've been trying to communicate with those cunts for years." I'll give this to the geezer: he has a way of choosing language that gets the message across.

Amen.

Addendum:
Incidentally, this was the reason I was laughing so hard that I nearly shat myself:
"Local grocery store owner Rafael Niasov [said] "...But these [the Palestinians] are savages... In the Torah it is written that there will be no peace.""

Now, is that a self-fulfilling prophecy, or am I just imagining shit, again? Poor Mr Niasov - must he really live his life according to what some cunt (whose motivations we will never be able to divine), wrote, thousands of years ago?